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Birthday Thought & Wishes



My birthday is just two weeks away, and I can't get it out of my mind lately, it has been all over my thoughts these days.. Not about the celebration, not at all.. In fact, I rarely celebrate my birthday.. I didn't even celebrate my 17th birthday, sad I know.. It's just that I'm not the kind of girl who could celebrate her birthday every single year.. I wish I could though.. 

I'm not saying that I don't like it, it's actually nice to have a celebration with your friends, I did that last year for the first time with my close friends and it was great.. Even better if I had someone special, but I don't (four years in a row being alone on my birthday, yay?).. But yeah, it just happen to be that way, I don't have any excitement for my birthday anymore..

As I grow older, I get less and lesser birthday greetings from my friends, moreover, presents, or even a cake.. I don't know why do I sound so sad in my writing today, but yeah, I won't expect anything good for this 16th.. I'm going to Bali though with my friends, not to celebrate my birthday, but because there will also be a rave party called DreamFields on the same day there.. I'm probably going, it is still tentative, haven't bought the ticket yet.. I honestly would rather be sitting on the side of the beach alone with my books, maybe with a couple of beers.. I just miss Bali so much, that's why I go, period.. I already booked an airplane ticket and reserved a hotel room for three nights with my friend though, so yeah, we'll see..
(is there any of you going to the DreamFields? Let me know on the comment section below if you want ^_^)

What is that actually in my mind according to my birthday?
Okay, I'm confused whether I should be excited or freaking out, I will most likely be both.. 
It's just that....... 
I'm hitting 25 this year!!

Maybe some of you think that I'm still young, but I will tell you what most Indonesian, especially those who were born chinese thinks.. At my age, most of the women are probably already married and have a cute little munchkin they called kid, or already engaged or at least have a boyfriend and in one or two years from now will get engaged to him and get married months after.. The single ones, they are mostly a carrier woman, pursuing their dreams, busy making money, knowing what they wanted to do in life, doing what they love, and stuff like that. If a woman, at my age, in both stage (have a loved one & doing what they love), oh gurl, you rock! Keep it up! So jelly of you.. You're probably living an almost perfect life~ well at least for me it is..

Now what about me? As you can probably tell, NEITHER OF BOTH

Career // It's really hard for me to accept that I still haven't find my true passion in my mid twenties.. Well my true passion is traveling, but I can't, so it's kind of a same thing.. :( Screwed up? I know right? Oh.. Don't judge.. What do you guys say? Start panic-ing?? Lol.. I've already been in panic since I'm 24 for the record.. I'm just really disappointed in myself.. wished I could go back to the year I have been wasted and changed things.. Regret does come at last.. 

I hope no one would relate to this though, but if one does, I hope you're stronger than me..

Blogging // I love blogging, in fact, blogging is the only thing that highlight my less meaningful days.. I love to write, I love taking pictures, I hope I can also travel.. And making money from my blog.. It's really surprising how 50 blog posts could gain hundred thousands of views within 10 months..  It's beyond crazy and amazing.. But as much as I love to do it nor how helpful my blog is to you, the only benefit (materialistically) that I got until now was only vouchers to free dinner (which I haven't even used, and probably won't because I'm afraid it has all expired since I haven't use it for such a long time.. They didn't put any expiry date though, it's just me, hehe).. I'm not saying that getting the vouchers is not good.. It's not bad actually, but unfortunately, it's not enough, and it won't pay any of my bills.. It is a major time + energy consuming.. And ironically, the benefit is not so worth it compared to the efforts I made.. BUT, for the love of doing it, I will keep writing and reviewing! ^_^ Hopefully someday, someone will recognize good things in my blog, and willing to invest or just donate something, hahaha..

Love // I don't have a lot to say about this, haha.. I just haven't met a weird guy who is totally into me and can cope with all of my weirdness yet.. But if you're a fun good looking guy, you've been reading all that I rant about and still find me interesting, uhm.... You're really weird! LOL..

Wishes // On my twenty five years old self, I wish I could just live in the moment, get out of my comfort zone, be a little braver to do the things I've been saying I wish I would do, say good words when things got hard, praise God at all times, have a faith in my self, take every opportunity even the stupid ones, and just give someone a chance. Other than that, I want an iPhone, a laptop, a total make over for my blog, an ads, braces for my teeth, and a solo trip to Europe, haha..

Okay dear darlings, I'm done with the rants
I'm not hoping you would enjoy this post like any other blog post I wrote
I just need a little of space to express myself once in a while
(though actually after some screening, I had deleted 7 paragraphs of this post because it was too vulgar and rude and negative, hahaha)

A little announcement :
I think I'm going to do my very first birthday GIVEAWAY!
Yayyy
so stay tune <3
xoxo

17 comments:

  1. Waowww... Keep your hope, coz only hope is the fundamental belief in the potential of you to be a force for good in life.... But by the way, my birthday is 16 days from now, it's awful =.= i don't know about dreamfield, like music concert with genre electro music and mass dance

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Roy..
      Yep, it's a rave party, mostly the DJs will play EDM songs, but the main DJ is Dash Berlin, which I'm sure he plays Trance.. If you know what I'm talking about :)

      Delete
  2. cee semangat yaa untuk nemuin your true passion, memang kalo udah umur seginian ada sdikit pressure yg berhubungan dgn PH hahaha >.<

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Makasi sayang ♡♡ Hahaha.. I don't really mind not having PH yet & I can't be pressured on that matters, sebodo amat.. Tapi ya, you know right, parents here.. And their families.. Alala~ Make things complicated..

      Delete
  3. 25? Aku pikir masih 20 an kamu hahaha

    Yah jalani. Aja tow hidup masih panjang hahah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol, I hope I'm still in my early 20s too!
      Hahaha.. Life goes on and I admit it I have to enjoy it while I still can.. :)
      Makasi ya, anon, have a great day! ^_^

      Delete
  4. Hi dear, I agree for your 25th birthday giveaway. Can't wait to join it. Just let me know. Giglove


    Http://beautyasti1.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Of course dear, you can either subscribe or follow me on any of my social media to catch up the informations! ^_^ thank you

      Delete
  5. I'm single and I'll be 25 in November. I'm pretty much jobless haha (and not proud of it). I have found my passion (I think) but I haven't had any chance to do that :| so yea I totally understand your feeling.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mann.. Big hug for you then.. :)

      Delete
    2. suggestion: what about being active in twitter? like engaging in conversations with some influencers (who shares the same interests as you) and hopefully you'll gain more followers. By gaining more followers, I think that can be a start for publishing your blogs to the wider range of readers and hopefully in the near future, you can travel for free since the brands/companies/tourism boards like your writing. Or maybe joining blog competitions about traveling? x)

      Delete
    3. Hey, I just read this..
      That's a really good idea, Mon! Thanks.. :)
      I personally not a twitter person, tried, but I always, always, always, forgot to tweet, lolol.. But it's a really good suggestions.. I really appreciate it, thank you.. ^_^
      Cheers to a great life ahead! :)

      Delete
  6. Friends are like brothers and sister found outside our home :D so these heartfelt message and birthday wishes for friend like this will surely make them happy. I myself can't let their big day pass without my warm greetings. Thanks for sharing your sweetness. :)
    God bless always!
    Regards,
    Meow
    http://meowchie.snydle.com/birthday-wishes-for-friend.html

    ReplyDelete
  7. Happy birthday..
    success with your blog..
    God bless.. :)

    ReplyDelete

 

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